The intolerable waiting game and unending uncertainty of any future that all refugees in Indonesia must endure.
In Myanmar, they degradingly called me “Kala”.
In Indonesia, they called me illegal immigrants.
The only difference is language: English and Burmese.
And this has become my identity of the world.
A refugee or an illegal migrant.
As I seek refuge, I am considered less human being than other citizens.
I am treated more as a thing than a human being.
They used me for various reasons:
politicians to remain in power or to gain more power;
International NGOs to flourish self- interests; for medium
as a humanitarian crisis to make up stories.
The freedom for me is like stars in the night sky.
I see them every night.
They look beautiful glittering in the night sky.
My heart desires and yearns to touch and feel them,
but I cannot reach them.
They are seemed billions of miles away, far away from me.
They have snatched my every single right;
Even very fundamental one.
Now I am like a fish in its exhausted glass of water;
Only surviving with breathable water.
Hope for change is like waiting for the sky to fall down.
Dream for a better future is like dreaming in deep sleep:
when I wake up it is banished and shattered into small peace.
Every day I water my Patience with tears, but it dries up constantly.
They say I am placed for temporarily and will be relocated and be free in another country.
It seems I am being continuously pushed and pushed further back towards any hope of resettlement and any durable solutions for our future.
This unending queue of resettlement seems will never come to meet me even if the river stops flowing and the water in the ocean dried up. This inviable queue will never come to an end and my thirst for freedom will always remain unfilled.
Without the right to work, study, and to move around, my days and nights are becoming more unbearable by the moment. I can no longer wait for an opportunity to live as human beings.
Stuck in this hellish limbo of either returning and be killed, or slowly dying in this unending fate of mine.